Лучший говнокод за всё время

Лучший говнокод

В номинации:

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Самый комментируемый

За время:

Куча / Говнокод #29245

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Питушня #43

#13: https://govnokod.ru/27260 https://govnokod.xyz/_27260
#14: https://govnokod.ru/27343 https://govnokod.xyz/_27343
#15: https://govnokod.ru/27353 https://govnokod.xyz/_27353
#16: https://govnokod.ru/27384 https://govnokod.xyz/_27384
#17: https://govnokod.ru/27482 https://govnokod.xyz/_27482
#18: https://govnokod.ru/27514 https://govnokod.xyz/_27514
#19: https://govnokod.ru/27620 https://govnokod.xyz/_27620
#20: https://govnokod.ru/27816 https://govnokod.xyz/_27816
#21: https://govnokod.ru/27956 https://govnokod.xyz/_27956
#22: https://govnokod.ru/28143 https://govnokod.xyz/_28143
#23: https://govnokod.ru/28315 https://govnokod.xyz/_28315
#24: (vanished) https://govnokod.xyz/_28362
#25: (vanished) https://govnokod.xyz/_28463
#26: https://govnokod.ru/28481 https://govnokod.xyz/_28481
#27: https://govnokod.ru/28537 https://govnokod.xyz/_28537
#28: https://govnokod.ru/28619 https://govnokod.xyz/_28619
#29: (vanished) https://govnokod.xyz/_28663
#30: https://govnokod.ru/28673 https://govnokod.xyz/_28673
#31: https://govnokod.ru/28679 https://govnokod.xyz/_28679
#32: https://govnokod.ru/28687 https://govnokod.xyz/_28687
#33: https://govnokod.ru/28694 https://govnokod.xyz/_28694
#34: https://govnokod.ru/28701 https://govnokod.xyz/_28701
#35: https://govnokod.ru/28707 https://govnokod.xyz/_28707
#36: https://govnokod.ru/28714 https://govnokod.xyz/_28714
#37: https://govnokod.ru/28724 https://govnokod.xyz/_28724
#38: https://govnokod.ru/28732 https://govnokod.xyz/_28732
#39: https://govnokod.ru/28839 https://govnokod.xyz/_28839
#40: https://govnokod.ru/28909 https://govnokod.xyz/_28909
#41: https://govnokod.ru/29003 https://govnokod.xyz/_29003
#42: https://govnokod.ru/29186 https://govnokod.xyz/_29186

nepeKamHblu_nemyx, 31 Марта 2026

Комментарии (1)

C++ / Говнокод #29224

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cin >> N >> L >> T;
  total = 0;
  for (int i = 0; i < N; i++) {
    cin >> S[i] >> H[i] >> P[i];
    total += H[i] * P[i];
  }
  fix_order();
  for (int ind = 0; ind < N; ind++) {
    int len = ind + 1;
    set<pair<long long, int>> events, comps;
    vector<long long> sum_hp(len);
    copy(H, H + len, sum_hp.begin());
    sum_hp[ind] = 0;
    vector<int> ord(len);
    iota(ord.begin(), ord.end(), 0);
    sort(ord.begin(), ord.end(), [&](int i, int j) {
      return S[i] < S[j];
    });
    comps.emplace(T, -1);
    for (int i = 0; i < len; i++) {
      int j = i + 1;
      while (j < len && S[ord[i]] == S[ord[j]]) {
        sum_hp[ord[i]] += sum_hp[ord[j]];
        ++j;
      }
      comps.emplace(S[ord[i]], ord[i]);
      i = j - 1;
    }
    for (auto it = comps.begin(); next(it) != comps.end(); ++it) {
      long long dist = next(it)->first - it->first;
      int idx = it->second;
      if (sum_hp[idx] > 0) {
        events.emplace((dist + sum_hp[idx] - 1) / sum_hp[idx], idx);
      }
    }
    vector<bool> visited(len);
    vector<bool> added(len);
    long long good_sum = 0, last_time = 0, govno = T, rakom_bokom = 0;
    for (auto [spawn, i] : comps) {
      if (spawn >= S[ind] && i != -1) {
        good_sum += sum_hp[i];
        added[i] = true;
      }
    }
    auto Upd = [&](long long time) -> void {
      long long F = govno - S[ind] - rakom_bokom;
      if (F <= 0) {
        return;
      }
      long long r1 = clamp(F / (H[ind] + good_sum) + 1, last_time, time);
      long long r2 = good_sum == 0 ? time : clamp(F / good_sum + 1, last_time, time);
      dp_diff_i[last_time] += H[ind] * P[ind];
      dp_diff_i[r1] -= H[ind] * P[ind];
      dp_diff[r1] += F * P[ind];
      dp_diff[r2] -= F * P[ind];
      dp_diff_i[r1] -= good_sum * P[ind];
      dp_diff_i[r2] += good_sum * P[ind];
      last_time = time;
    };
    vector<bool> skip(len), finished(len);
    while (!events.empty()) {
      auto [time, i] = *events.begin();
      events.erase(events.begin());
      if (time > L) {
        break;
      }
      if (skip[i] || sum_hp[i] == 0) {
        continue;
      }
      Upd(time);
      auto it = comps.upper_bound({S[i], INT_MAX});
      if (it->second == -1 || finished[it->second]) {
        good_sum -= sum_hp[i];
        finished[i] = true;
        govno = S[i];
        continue;
      }
      if (!added[i] && it->second + sum_hp[i] * time >= S[ind]) {
        added[i] = true;
        good_sum += sum_hp[i];
        rakom_bokom += S[i] - S[ind];
      }
      sum_hp[i] += sum_hp[it->second];
      skip[it->second] = true;
      long long next_pos = next(it)->first;
      comps.erase(it);
      events.emplace(time + (next_pos - S[i] - sum_hp[i] * time + sum_hp[i] - 1) / sum_hp[i], i);
    }
    Upd(L + 1);
  }
  long long cur_diff = 0, cur_diff_i = 0;
  for (int i = 0; i <= L; i++) {
    cur_diff += dp_diff[i];
    cur_diff_i += dp_diff_i[i];
    dp[i] = cur_diff + cur_diff_i * i;
  }

олимпиадное говно

letipetukh1, 26 Января 2026

Комментарии (1)

PHP / Говнокод #29214

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<!-- <div class="news">
	<div class="tch"></div>
	<div class="container">
		<h2 class="title"><span><small>Н</small>овости компании</span></h2>
		<div class="flex">
			<?php
			query_posts('cat=21&posts_per_page=3'); // вместо "5" указываем идентификатор вашей рубрики.
			while (have_posts()) : the_post();
			?>
				<div class="item">
					<div class="img"><?= get_the_post_thumbnail(get_the_ID()); ?></div>
					<div class="desk">
						<div class="title"><?= get_the_title() ?></div>
						<div class="date"><?= get_the_date(); ?></div>
						<?php the_content() ?>
						<a href="<?= get_the_permalink();  ?>" class="more">Читать далее</a>
					</div>
				</div>

			<?php
			endwhile;
			wp_reset_query();
			?>
		</div>
	</div>
</div> -->

На ровном месте быдлокодер получает мимимум 7 лишних запросов к БД.

Lexchz2, 18 Декабря 2025

Комментарии (1)

Си / Говнокод #29206

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/* how many times the value will be printed? 
     change 1 line to fix the possibility to compile at diff x64-32 opt lvls
*/
int main(void) {
    return ({
        #include <stdio.h>;
        __attribute__ ((aligned (8))) struct {
        struct {
        } _struct;
        union _union {
            int _register_  : 001;
            char _auto_    : 1|1;
            struct _struct {
                double _float;
            };
        };
        int _a;
        unsigned short __a;
        int ___a;
    } letni = 
    {._a = 0x1122, 
               0xC1C255AA, 
               0x334477CC};
        *((unsigned short*)&letni._a + (1<<1|1)) = 0x11;
        for (volatile int i = *((unsigned short*)&letni.__a); i--;) {
        if (i == *((unsigned short*)&letni.__a) - 01) {
            *(volatile int*)&i = *((unsigned short*)&letni.___a-1);
            continue;
        };
        printf("%x ", i);
        }
    }), (0,0);
}

"именно поэтому я за C" (c) j123123

когда -std=c23 -O[0/1/2/3/s/g/fast] смог только штеуд, на прочих -O[0/s]
Почему это говно работает?

Raspi_s_Dona, 04 Декабря 2025

Комментарии (1)

Haskell / Говнокод #29198

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(ql:quickload :drakma)
(ql:quickload :lparallel)

;; CURL ANALYSIS

(defmethod sb-mop:validate-superclass ((metaclass class) (superclass standard-class)) t)

;; Analasys-Assert class
(defclass anal-ass (standard-class)
  ((%form :initarg :form :initform nil :accessor form)
   (%cond :initarg :cond :initform nil :accessor econd)
   (%mesg :initarg :msg :initform "Error" :accessor msg)))

(defmacro build-anal-ass (&body args)
  `(make-instance 'anal-ass ,@args))

(defmethod process-ass-synergy ((anal-ass-factory anal-ass))
  (let ((anal-ass-factory-cond-master (econd anal-ass-factory))
        (anal-ass-factory-form-master (form anal-ass-factory))
        (anal-ass-factory-msg-master (msg anal-ass-factory)))

    (declare (ignore anal-ass-factory-form-master))

    (assert anal-ass-factory-cond-master nil anal-ass-factory-msg-master)))

;; Analasys class
(defclass anal-factory (standard-class)
  ((%body-manager :initarg :body :initform nil :accessor body-manager)
   (%status-manager :initarg :status :initform nil :accessor status-manager)
   (%headers-manager :initarg :headers :initform nil :accessor headers-manager)
   (%uri-manager :initarg :uri :initform nil :accessor uri-manager)
   (%stream-manager :initarg :stream :initform nil :accessor stream-manager)
   (%must-close-manager :initarg :must-close :initform nil :accessor must-close-manager)
   (%reason-phrase-manager :initarg :reason-phrase :initform nil :accessor reason-phrase-manager)))

(defmethod initialize-instance :after ((anal-ass-factory anal-ass) &key &allow-other-keys)
  (assert (and (form anal-ass-factory) (econd anal-ass-factory) (msg anal-ass-factory)) nil
    "Invalid Analysis-Assert structure"))

(defmethod initialize-instance :after ((anal-factory-factory anal-factory) &key &allow-other-keys)
  (let ((anal-body-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "Body manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (body-manager anal-factory-factory))))
        (anal-status-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "Status manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (status-manager anal-factory-factory))))
        (anal-headers-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "Headers manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (headers-manager anal-factory-factory))))
        (anal-uri-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "URI manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (uri-manager anal-factory-factory))))
        (anal-stream-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "Stream manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (stream-manager anal-factory-factory))))
        (anal-must-close-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "Must-close manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (must-close-manager anal-factory-factory))))
        (anal-reason-phrase-ass-manager (build-anal-ass :msg "Reason phrase manager is nil" :form t :cond #'(lambda () (reason-phrase-manager anal-factory-factory)))))

    (process-ass-synergy anal-body-ass-manager)
    (process-ass-synergy anal-status-ass-manager)
    (process-ass-synergy anal-headers-ass-manager)
    (process-ass-synergy anal-uri-ass-manager)
    (process-ass-synergy anal-stream-ass-manager)
    (process-ass-synergy anal-must-close-ass-manager)
    (process-ass-synergy anal-reason-phrase-ass-manager)))

(defmacro deep-anal-factory (&body args)
  `(make-instance 'anal-factory ,@args))

(defclass drakma-manager (standard-class)
  ((%body-meta-manager :initform nil :initarg :body :accessor body)))

(defmethod requires-meta-manager ((drakma-manager-factory drakma-manager))
  (funcall (body drakma-manager-factory)))

(defmacro make-drakma-meta-manager (&body args)
  `(make-instance 'drakma-manager ,@args))

(defun anal-manager (url &key (method :get) parameters)
  (locally
    (declare (optimize (speed 0) (debug 0) (safety 0) (space 0)))

    (multiple-value-bind (body status-code headers uri stream must-close reason-phrase)
      (let* ((eval #'(lambda () (drakma:http-request url :method method
                                                         :parameters parameters
                                                         :want-stream nil)))

             (drakma-meta-manager (make-drakma-meta-manager :body eval)))

        (requires-meta-manager drakma-meta-manager))

      (declare (optimize (speed 3)))

      (let ((deep-anal (deep-anal-factory
                          :body body
                          :status status-code
                          :headers headers
                          :uri uri
                          :stream stream
                          :must-close must-close
                          :reason-phrase reason-phrase)))

        (identity deep-anal)))))

Менеджер для анализа юрл

lisp-worst-code, 12 Ноября 2025

Комментарии (1)

JavaScript / Говнокод #29184

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let fallbackFunc = ()=>console.log("Hello, World!");
let settings = {
    fallbackButtonName: "Hello, World!",
    fallbackWidth: 512,
    fallbackHeight: 512,
    settingsMenuExitButtonHeight: 32,
    settingsMenuExitButtonName: "X",
    settingElementHeight: 32,
    settingsMenuExitButtonAtBeginning: true,
    settingElementTrueName: "ON",
    settingElementFalseName: "OFF",
    settingsMenuBooleanSeperatorName: "- $",
    hideExtraButtonsToolbar: true,
    updateToolbar: updateToolbar,
    updateSettingsMenu: updateSettingsMenu,
    activateFallbackFunc: fallbackFunc
};

let settingsMenu = document.getElementById("settings");
let settingsElement = document.querySelector(".setting-element#hide");

// -------------------------------------------------------------------

function updateSettingsMenu() {
    settingsMenu.innerHTML = "";
    let exitButton = document.createElement("button");
    exitButton.style.height = settings.settingsMenuExitButtonHeight+"px";
    exitButton.innerText = settings.settingsMenuExitButtonName;
    exitButton.onclick = function() {
        settingsMenu.style.display = "none";
    }

    if (settings.settingsMenuExitButtonAtBeginning) settingsMenu.appendChild(exitButton);
    for (let k in settings) {
        let v = settings[k];

        let setting = settingsElement.cloneNode(true);
        setting.id = "";
        console.log(setting)
        setting.style.height = settings.settingElementHeight+"px";
        let [name,value] = setting.children;
        if (typeof v !== "function") {
            name.innerText = k;
            function booleanToString(bool) {
                return (bool?settings.settingsMenuBooleanSeperatorName.replaceAll("$",settings.settingElementTrueName):settings.settingsMenuBooleanSeperatorName.replaceAll("$",settings.settingElementFalseName))
            }
            value.innerText = (typeof v === "boolean")?booleanToString(v):v;
            value.onclick = function() {
                if (typeof v === "boolean") {
                    settings[k] = !settings[k];
                    value.innerText = booleanToString(settings[k]);
                } else {
                    let input = prompt(`New value for ${k}:`);
                    let newValue = isNaN(input)?input:Number(input);
                    value.innerText = newValue;
                    settings[k] = newValue
                }
            }
        } else {
            name.remove()
            value.innerText = k;
            value.onclick = v;
        }

        settingsMenu.appendChild(setting);
    }
    if (!settings.settingsMenuExitButtonAtBeginning) settingsMenu.appendChild(exitButton);
}
function showSettings() {
    settingsMenu.style.display = "flex";
    updateSettingsMenu();
}

Как вам код?

manabanana, 29 Сентября 2025

Комментарии (1)

C# / Говнокод #29183

+1

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using Godot;

namespace CW2EB.UI;
public partial class EscQuittingLabel : Label {

	Tween tween, tween2thesequel;
	public override void _Ready(){
		base._Ready();
		tween = GetTree().CreateTween().SetParallel();
		tween2thesequel = GetTree().CreateTween();
		tween.TweenProperty(this, "theme_override_colors/font_color", new Color(1f, 1f, 1f, 1f), 1);
		tween.TweenProperty(this, "theme_override_colors/font_shadow_color", new Color(0f, 0f, 0f, 1f), 1);

		
		tween2thesequel.TweenCallback(Callable.From(TweenStage1)).SetDelay(.25);
		tween2thesequel.TweenCallback(Callable.From(TweenStage2)).SetDelay(.25);
		tween2thesequel.TweenCallback(Callable.From(TweenStage3)).SetDelay(.25);
		tween2thesequel.TweenCallback(Callable.From(TweenStage4)).SetDelay(.5);
	}

	public void TweenStage1()
		=> Text = Tr("Quitting") + ".";

	public void TweenStage2()
		=> Text = Tr("Quitting") + "..";

	public void TweenStage3()
		=> Text = Tr("Quitting") + "...";

	public void TweenStage4()
		=> GetTree().Quit();
}

Как сделать постепенно появляющееся многоточие?

GhostNoise, 29 Сентября 2025

Комментарии (1)

Python / Говнокод #29164

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n = int(input())
d = n
i = 0
a = 0
c = 0
has1 = False
has2 = False
has3 = False 
has4 = False
has5 = False
has6 = False
has7 = False
has8 = False
last_dig = 0
while n > 0:
    last_dig = n % 10
    if last_dig > i :
        i = last_dig
        if last_dig == 1:
            c = 1
    elif last_dig == 1:
        has1 = True
    elif last_dig == 2:
        has2 = True
    elif last_dig == 3:
        has3 = True
    elif last_dig == 4:
        has4 = True
    elif last_dig == 5:
        has5 = True
    elif last_dig == 6:
        has6 = True
    elif last_dig == 7:
        has7 = True
    elif last_dig == 8:
        has8 = True
    n = n // 10
c = d % 10
if has1 == True and c >= 1:
    a = 1
elif has2 == True and c >= 2:
    a = 2
elif has3 == True and c >= 3:
    a = 3
elif has4 == True and c >= 4:
    a = 4
elif has5 == True and c >= 5:
    a = 5
elif has6 == True and c >= 6:
    a = 6
elif has7 == True and c >= 7:
    a = 7
elif has8 == True and c >= 8:
    a = 8
else:
    a = c
print('Максимальная цифра равна', i)
print('Минимальная цифра равна', a)

Дано натуральное число n. Напишите программу, которая определяет его максимальную и минимальную цифры

Permanent_Record, 28 Июля 2025

Комментарии (1)

Haskell / Говнокод #29148

+1

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(defun sbcl-vrt-simd-pntr (a f fa &aux (defun (progn (defmacro << (x y) `,(ash x y)) (defmacro >> (x y) `,(ash x (- y))) (defmacro ~ (x) `(lognot ,x))))
                                       (if (progn (labels ((t (a f fa) (declare (type integer a)
                                                                                (type (function (integer (function () (values)) (pointer single-float)) integer) f)
                                                                                (type (array real (*)) fa))
                                                                       (declaim (optimize (speed (the (list integer (*)) '(-1 0 1))) (debug 0) (safety 0) (space 0))))) (funcall #'t a f fa)))))

  (defclass res (standard-class) ((%size-st :initform nil :accessor size-st)))
  (defclass d (standard-class) ((%size-n :initform nil :accessor size-n)))
  (defmethod sb-mop:validate-superclass ((class class) (meta standard-class)) defun t)
  (defmethod initialize-instance :after ((obj res) &key &allow-other-keys) (setf (size-st obj) (sb-vm::primitive-object-size (type-of (let ((a #xFFFF)) (declare (type (integer #x0 #xFFFF) a)))))))
  (defmethod initialize-instance :after ((obj d) &key) (setf (size-n obj) (sb-vm::primitive-object-size 0)))
  (defclass simd-virtual-guard (res d) ((%spn :initform 0 :accessor spn :type integer)) (:metaclass d))

  (let ((lac (make-instance 'simd-virtual-guard)) (data f) (b "8153024679"))
    `(declare (type (array (member ,(let* ((i '())) (do* ((y 0 (+ y 1))) ((= (- y 1) 9) 'nil) (push y i)))) (3)) data)
              (type string b)
              (type simd-virtual-duard lac))

    (setf (spn lac) (+ (size-st lac) (size-n lac)))

    (loop for ll from (- (sb-vm::primitive-object-size b) 55) downto 0 by 4
          do (progn
               (setf (char b ll) #\0)
               (setf (char b (- ll #x1)) #\1)
               (setf (char b (if (= ll 1) (- (+ ll 9) #x2) (- ll #x2))) #\2)))

    (- (ash 1 2) (- (char-code (char b 0)) (sb-vm::primitive-object-size "2")))))

(defun sbcl-vrt-simd64 (f0 f1 &aux (returnable 0) (declare (labels ((nil (f0 f1) (declare (type (function ()) f0) (type (function ()) f1)))) (funcall #'nil f0 f1))))
  (labels ((pntr (addr) (sb-sys:sap-ref-8 (sb-sys:int-sap addr) 0))
           (ref (obj) (sb-kernel:get-lisp-obj-address obj)))

    (macrolet ((s (v) `(setq returnable ,v)))
      (let ((d (- (ref f0) (ref f1))))
        (declare (type integer d))

        (if (not (ash (- (* (integer-length 0) (integer-length 0)) 1) d))
          (do* ((d d (- d 1))) (zerop d)
            (case (+ (ref f0) d)
              (0XC3C9 (s 0))
              (0XB8 (if (not (+ (ref f0) d 1)) (s 1) (s -1))
              (0XC031 (s 2)))))))

      (return-from sbcl-vrt-simd64 returnable))))

пародия на https://www.govnokod.ru/29120

lisp-worst-code, 23 Июня 2025

Комментарии (1)

Куча / Говнокод #29139

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...В детстве я любил русские народные сказки из сборника Афанасьева.
Сюжет даже откровенно взрослых сказок он передавал мягко, избегая зауми; с грубоватым, народным юмором, слегка подпёздывая, а затем плавно 
и в подробностях подходя к кульминации.

После того, как я уже в зрелом возрасте прочел, как барыня заставила холопа нюхать свою пизду, я стал практиковать воздержание.

Ну его нахуй, сказка ведь может и былью статься.
Нужно срочно запретить сказки! Тем более, что все перечисленные в них извращения успешно практикуют и те дети, кому и сказок-то не читали.

3uMuCTOH, 28 Мая 2025

Комментарии (1)

Говнокод: по колено в коде.